Fligger...Damn it..

Sun, 24 Sep 2006 17:58:05 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

So yesterday Me and Cassie go to Pipes Plus to meet up with Mary and Marc. We are just chillin there and having a good time talking randomly like we always do...
Me looking around the room, there was this guy sitting by himself staring at me.
I wasn't too such if he was looking at something behind me or something...or maybe he was looking at the door cause he was waiting for someone..but all i know, that he was looking at me.
Marc passes me the pipe and I take a hit and when I do, i wind up looking at him and he was taking the hit the same time as me. Which was really wierd. Cause he would wait till i smoked...
i was wisphering to Cassie and i was like that dude behind you is looking at me...it's kinda wierd...and Cassie was like we'll do you want to switch. and i was like..."no...i kinda like the attention"
Cause i never really get attention like that.
Mary is already in her happy place and Marc was feelin good as well, pipe comes back to me and i look at the guy and he was waiting for me...
as i was taking the hit i raise my eyebrows to see if he was really timing it with me or maybe i was just being really stupid and paranoid, but as i raised my eyebrows he raised his......
When he did, i kinda laughed off the smoke and i gave the pipe back to Cassie and i was like..that guy is staring at me hardcore....
So now i am like o.k this guy is gay and he is diggin me...or he just saw me and just reacted just cause that is what people do...Idk REALLY CONFUSE..(that' like my life story right there)
So i know he is staring at me and I kinda start to stare back.
Kinda talking with our eyes, he stood up paid for his hooka and left...
when he left though he looked at me one last time...

I have no idea if maybe my gay side was like WOW ATTENTION, IDK but all i know was that the trip to the hooka bar was really fun, and i kinda hope i see him again.
Talking with your eyes is like the second most attractive thing to me now....

Thanks for listening to Shaquanda..
love ya!!

Sean

Meh...a semi-update.

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 21:27:31 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

So yeah, time has been going by and i still am like....
GAH kill me now....but things are kinda looking up...yesterday i did a job search. I was very relaxing and calming i was glad i had that time to do that cause I was able to do some writing,(i'll be sure to post some of it near the end) and today, I had an interview with Sharper Image. The interview was pretty sweet, i LOVE the manager
he is like the COOLEST dude ever...but you know how it is with work, once you work there everybody is different.
I really hope they call me back cause i really would love to make some money and save up for what ever comes up....
I kinda want to get a room with Cassie but then again i could always room with Nick since Mary and Dan were like NWM...But w.e it's life...I still love all of them.
Gah everything is going blah right now....Rashid Rashid Rashid...I have noooooooo idea what i can do....it's there
but then again.... it isn't....maybe i should go for someone that i know that is Bi/gay, cause sometimes the truth hurts...
to tell you the truth....

i think i kinda like the chase....

I really just like how he is....this may sound kinda narssasistic,but he is just like me....and i think i am just FABULOUS :-)
idk
i can't stand this...
I have been thinking alot lately so i have been keeping this little journal with me and i have been writing WHATEVER comes into mind.. here is some of the bullshit i have been writing....

"This is the last time..."

"City life is amazing, why would you want anything else"

"Your aura is like a sun, it warms other peoples hearts."

"As the days go on, my feelings for you get amazingly stronger. It gets so strong I am afraid of the truth."

"I need to do this on my own"

"My heart hurts, knowing that i hate..."

"Can you really forget everything we've done?"

"I guess it's true...nothing last forever..."

"Sean has to trust Sean."

So yeah...there is going to be more... I plan on bring this thing with me around so yeah... there will be more....

But other than that....Living with Cassie is all good...we are going to be moving soon to ze new casa...and yeah....
well see from there....
until then Shaquanda, I will Always love you.
take care

Sean

why am i SO stuck....

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 06:34:58 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

I don't know what it is about him, but he just has me around his finger and i really don't know what do to? I just want to tell him and be like DAMNNNN IT I FUCKING LOVE YOU.....but that wouldn't really express how i really feel...cause i feel more than Love...I feel...idk complete....
i normally know what i want...and he is Def. what i want.....

Now how do i bring this up into a normal conversation......? >.<

god i am SUCH a fag....
HAHAHAHAHAHA

love you Shaquanda.....

...sean thinking hard again....

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 05:03:49 GMT

Shaquanda,

maybe i should reconsider on how i feel......cause now that i think about it....i don't get what i want.....

Sean's predictions- the waiting game...

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 21:53:53 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

          Well i haven't talk to you in a while....Lots of things have been going on and Right now i can safely say that things are starting to move........well...not really..


             Quick Summary on The Central Market thing...and some of my living arangements.

       So past few days been interesting, looking for a job...trying to get shit straigten out.

I have been talking to this new guy named Mark, and ,my what a interesting character he is. He is very nice...and WAY too "friendly". Been chillin with him for the past few days and i am pretty sure that there will be more good times with that kid. hahaha He's a great guy.....the wierd thing is everyone seems to hate him which kinda makes me mad cause everyone talks down on him, but i really don't see what is wrong with him. If they actually talked to him and just got to know him then maybe there wouldn't be this wierdness or hate..but then again, i don't know his whole story and what he has done to other people, to make them think like that, but from what i see right now, it doesn't seem to extreme...but then again i don't know shit.

Haven't seen or talk to Dan in a while...kinda makes me sad cause i really enjoyed everything we talked about...even though most of our convys. were silly, i still enjoyed the little conversations that we had, but what i see him doing, and i may be wrong on this, but I think what he is trying to do is separate from the drama, and pretty much ingnore everyone, well minus a few people, but it's fine, and i don't blame him for that. but that is just what i think.i haven't talked to him in a while, so i really cant Say THIS IS WHAT HE IS DOING...but in time things will be better. Why worry about it, only time can tell....

Met up with Jeff, and my my my...I have come to the conclusion that, i give up on this kid.
I normally don't give up on my friends and i constatly try my best to fix situations....but this is one situation i am going to let go....sad to say.
So last week i was suppose to see him me and him never happened.
next day, me Gloria Alf and my friend Polonco were at the drag...and next thing you know i see John (aka chopsticks or knifes) and Jeff walking to Eint. and i am like WTF...you have time to chill with John but yet when i try to make plans you shit on me....foul #1
Couldn't really talk to him about patching up this stupid situation but all he said is..."i don't know what to do to fix it" cause he still wants a friendship...but since he "thinks" to much and "connects" things (ex, When he sees me, he thinks of nick, when he thinks of nick , he thinks of all of the good fun things that they did...which = a sad emo Jeff) he thinks there is nothing he can do..........sure...w.e
Right before he leaves he tells me, he will try to not make things akward and try to make things better...and i was like cool w.e
couple DaYs ago. saw him and Crissy at Gattitown....akward, being nice at one point, next thing you know they are leaving and I say bye, he stares and leaves..........going back on his word and just forgeting on everything that we have talked about...foul #2 and 3.
There is nothing more, when shit hits the fan, and Crissy and Jeff end....we'll see where he ends up...i have turn my head on him...
I told him this and i guess it worked on us as well...."nothing last forever..."

Been talking to Gloria, and right now she is pissed at me cause pretty much told her about all of her insecurity that she has with Alf and with herself., and the sad thing is she gets mad at me...but ...she needs to know the truth.

Something is telling me that if i move by myself, shit would be easier....maybe i should listen.....

I am kinda just writing whatever is on my mind, but now i am fine. w.e
just kinda like rambling and shit. right Shaquanda??
thanks for reading, love ya

Sean

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 00:02:12 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

       Well how are you?? i am doing alright...trying to find my "own" casa...but today found out some bad news.Bad news is me trying to get a casa is going to be put on hold...cause Gloria, didn't get the job... i am not that bummed, i am not even frustrated, cause i know that Gloria is very strong, and by me looking at her...and what she has been going thru with her dad and family she is not going to stop, untill she finds a damn job and moves the hell outta there...I trust Gloria and i know that in the end me and her will finally be happy to get away from all of the bullshit.
       The original plan was going to move with Nick and Dan, and i hope that they still have that opening JUST IN CASE shit doesn't go thru. But the main reason i want to move in with Gloria is cause me and her are pretty much starting a whole new life and pretty much starting life after high school together...I love Nick and Dan and i really wouldn't mind living with them, and i hope that they aren't looking at me another way cause of my "quick" decisions.
       So back to friend hoping again, since Kenny moved to another apt. but w.e he needed a new place anyways, his old roomate was a TOTAL DICK...i ate his Ice cream ^.^....i have a feeling that Kenny is going to learn alot from his new roomates...and maybe learn more about himself and what responsiblitly is....cause when he told me that he was moving in with 4 different people...i thought..that might be too much for him....lol but. we will see...
      Cassie's mom said that i can crash at there house until i get situated and she gave me a key..which kinda made me feel better...i guess what i am going to do now is just SAVE up money, and wait for Gloria to set up as well, so i kinda gotta chill on how i spend...especially cause these past two checks i just pretty much burnt out, trying to cover up some of my debts with my friends...but then again....i know that isn't enough...
      Talked to Rashid yesterday, my God, it has been such a LONG time since i talk to him, i kidna miss our convys. but he said that Thrus. he was going to the Klabash(i think that is how you spell it) and asked if i wanted to go, and catch up...so i guess i am going to see him tomorrow, whoohoo...I have only seen him once since he came back..and it really wasn't a one on one time like it ALWAYS was before... but then again times change, and plus we are both busy so it is understandable, i shouldn't hate him for that.
       Just sooooo much has been going on, just alot of thinking time and working..is pretty much what is on my mind...sometimes I think of stupid shit like what one of the ladys told me and bun when we did a all nighter at Starbucks, this comment really scarred my mind.She said:

"Imagine if the world was without one bug, everything would die....now Imagine a world without people...the world would prosper"

    How i think this out is like this...
If people weren't in the world there would be no buildings, no cars, no WARS...pretty much humans have brains and use there intellectual processing to try and help there community, and actually try there best to do what is best for them...but in the end, thru mindless struggle and hard work, and dedication.... it just hurts everything around....
   yeah i think too hard or like how Cassie randomly showed me her bra, and pulled out this little bag...WTF....it's not like her tits are huge enough....my god....>.< idk i have just been thinking too much...it's mainly cause i don't have a place to comfortable think about all of this stuff. i kinda miss my old house, cause i had all of my journals and like my "own" compy with ALL KINDA PORN and most of my writings, and my bed...

BAH

        idk "only time can tell", there is no point in stressing over stupid shit, when it is going to get better...in time..I just want thank all of my friends for all that they have done and for all of the encouraging words, and just being there when i needed someone.... sometimes i wish i can pay you guys back...

Well Shaquanda, time is up..another stupid and yet retarded bloggy by yours truly...meh...
I love Shaquanda...ttyl

Sean

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 07:17:11 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

          wow....i have never would have thought that i would have to think like this again.....why are emotions such a overwhelming feeling.....i have just been really confused about alot of things and i just wished that i can figure it out....but only time can tell....
so past few days spent the weekend with Dan and crashed at his house. I have never smoked sooooooooooo much hooka in my life......omg it was great....( not weed, assholes)
          One of the days that i spend with dan, me and Dan kinda talked about how we, well mostly I, felt about each other.,,, and Dan told me that he could give me the comfort of "cuddling" but that was it...and i wasn't looking for that...so i told him that if i was looking for a relationship then everything will be included, i thought i kinda made it sound as if i didn't have feeling for him cause i really do, so i kinda explained to him Indirectly about what things that attracted me and i think he got the message.........so yea... we kinda left it at that..

For the people trying to figure me out...

Sexual Orientation

I have been trying to get a hold of Daniel but then again it is just me trying to find a relationship that keeps me towards him....
how pathetic am I....
so desprately looking for a relationship...that actually has meaning....
meh idk one day, that day will come....
maybe i should start focusing on the more important things like work and actually trying to look for a house...so i can start my life with a new slate....kinda.

i kinda don't want to complain about stupid shit Shaquanda but...i klnda don't have no other way to express these feeling except on a live open site like this....meh..sometimes the truth is always good to know.....

Thanks for listening Shaquanda...i love you.

Sean

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 07:24:09 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

             well once again i am thinking too hard once again...but once in my life i feel, happy. It's so interesting to think of all of the hard and interesting things that i have endured and now looking back and seeing,all of that i realized that...i am a stronger person cause of that... though there is much more to experience and though i may have more hard times to come out, but as long as I have people around to be with, everything is great. I love all of my friends, and sometimes i wish i could repay the favor they have done for me...but...sometimes i can't and it really hurts.....but All i hope they understand that i am more than greatful for what they all have done...
                It's funny...At Nick's party... i met this guy and he was telling me about how he fucked up his relationship with his girlfriend, and how he wanted to just kill himself( seriously) and i was telling him...dude you don't have to do that...there is soooooooooo much more to life and sooooooooo much more time to fuck up and learn, don't throw away your life cause of one fuck up...cause you grow stronger from everything that you encounter....and he just sat there in and thought about what i told him and he was like...why would you care about my problems....and i told him cause every person has a story to tell and i am always willing to listen to what they have to say....and more people i meet, the more people I get to listen to and learn from them as well....and plus i care for everyone cause regardless if i met them for 1 second, whenever i meet someone there are AUTOMATICLLY my friend and i would take care of them, anyway i could.....and he just couldn't believe that i was saying all of this and he was like....i wish there was more people like you....but, sad thing was he was like i will probably will never see you again, but i will consider what you have told me...all i told was to "stay strong"...and i hope to this day he is doing that.....
          Well i just have a happy happy attitude right now.....but then again i don't know why...maybe it is cause i am Away from my mom....idk what it is ...but i hope i can keep this feeling for a while cause this feeling is great.....

...............i wish it could be here with someone..............

but that is why i have you Shaquanda.... to keep me strong, and to keep me sane...cause with out you Shaquanda..i would be crazy and probably on the streets, being the next Leslie of the 6th...XD
hahaha
anyways Shaquanda i'll talk to you later...

Sean

demons in my closet

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 20:54:29 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

So i come and Post something today....interesting...lots have been going on so i am going to kinda ramble now....

ramble

o.k other than that...ken left to Victoria and now i am stuck at nick's...which i have no problems..just the cats are like....Fuck you Sean...Eat CAT HAIR....
then i die of some kinda Allergic spell the cats do...
Party at nick's was rediculous, and everything was just like WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...idk
yesterday brought up some past shit...and my what a interesting night it was....
so Me, Nick, Mary and Dan decide to go to Danny's house cause he was having a small drinking party...well not a party...we just decided to go over there cause we couldn't think of anything to do especially at 12 at night..besides sleeping....soo we go to Danny's with some drinks and just have fun.
So i am outside with Will, and we are talking about many things about his life and school and other things like that....it really suprised me that Will accually had these problems cause even though he was like hardcore tagger(graffit type) dude,,,(that's what i think) i never would have expected him to see soo much....he told me about how he seen one of his friends get stabbed, and how one of his friend literally died in his arms....and just hearing people dying brought out more demon's in my closet.....Dan had one of his friends Cruz pick him up and i was like well i don't want to talk about it anymore...so i walk to the car..and just sat there and thinked about what he said, and i thought alittle to hard...nick came in and saw me and kept asking me what the hell is wrong...cause i had started to cry...I told nick that one of my girlfriends commited suicide...and Nick holds on to me and tells me that everything is alright.and that it wasn't my fault....but i couldn't comphrend that...cause if she was happy with her life and with me then she wouldn't have done that...but...thought the car ride..i felt like shit...Cruz's amazing but yet nausating driving skills had me on the verge of throwing up on him and everyone in the car...we got to the resturant..that i don't remember where, and Dan talked to me and said if i need anything just call him and he gave me a hug, and i just laid there, in my drunken sober just thinking about all of the reasons why....and i have been through this list many many times, but never when i was drunk....i was crying and sweating like crazy. and they get back and Cruz was just Dashing back to Ian and Danny's cause he didn't want me to throw up...but his driving was the real reason why i felt like throwing up...we get back to Ian's.. and they take care of me...and i am SOO thankful for them for doing so....but there is nothing that they can do to bring Ann back. One of the things that Will said to me that i remember was "there is no way to get rid of this pain, it's kinda like a badge, it's stuck on you" and that is how the way it is for me...but i keep it hidden locked away in my closet and never to be released again...cause i wind up either feeling SUPER depressed..or wind up writing stupid blogs on LJ.....
but yea Shaquanda my crazy night...but still every moment makes me a stronger person....and that i am glad for....

anyways Shaquanda i am always glad that you are always here to listen to what i have to say....i love you.

Sean

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 11:56:28 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

well interesting thng i noticed last time i rode the bus.....
We have been though SOOOOOOOOO much....not like friends wise...but as people, as a community...this occured to me when a simple white lady was sitting on the bus with her baby..and then this black man came onto the bus and just sat down next to her. and he looked at her baby and just picked the baby up and just started to play with him...
idk if they knew each other, but just being able to see a "white woman" sit next to a "black man" was really interesting to me....and just really made me think about how in the old days, on how that would mean death to that man if he even thought about sitting in a "white" person's seat.
Even though i am half black and half philipino....it is just crazy to see how far we have come as Americans....I can tell there is much more coming..but knowing the human race...we will get through it....

i don't know what is going on right now Shaquanda....i just don't know......

i'll ttyl

Sean

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 07:24:28 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... so what has been going on with me huh??? nothing.... today was really cool....i haven't drank in....24 hrs. w00t!!!! plus i have a fucking Drug test tomorrow.....damnnit...but w.e so....today was chill...stayed home and pretty much did nothing...went to interview and got papers saying drug test within 24 hrs. or no jobby.....
RAR
so i am doing that tomorrow......been chillin with Stella alot...she's cool. and right now i am with Gloria and Ken..(like always) about to go to sleep...cause i seriously need a day to ReFlEcT...on myself...you know what i mean Shaquanda????

anyways...hopefully i get that day soon....
who knows....

i am kinda tired..but i don't want to type...cause kennys ass is in the way.......=)) LOL
ttyl Shaquanda....

Sean

DRAMAAAAAAAA

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 16:57:20 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

Well what can i say.....these past few days have been just a GIGANTIC Stressball and i most of my memories are like jkfdls;aufj keocvewhnafioewhafejk but.......This weekend Madi came to Austin....and in the back of my mind things might get alittle bit outta hand.....but i was glad that she came. Even though she was uncomfortable throughout the whole trip.......=(

Friday Madi and Ishmael came to Austin around 7 cause he decided to to skip work...so it was Me, madi, cass, ken, and ish....very interesting....Cassie has heard many things about Madi sooo she kept her distance....(in the beggining) We decided to go to momoko's and took her to the Drag and somewhere at that point we met up with Nick mary Zach Gloria and Alf. we chilled around the drag and did stuff then Nick was like we are going to Danny's and Ian's for some drinks....sooooooooooo we went...Stella txt me and she was like "what up SON" and i was like IDK where are about to party wanna come and she was like alright.....So we meet up there and we all tell Ish what we wanted and he went out and bought it for us....(80 dollars worth) sooo they come back and Ze party began......What i remember from that was drinking beer....(HATE BEER) and playing a fucking Card game and you had to guess what color the card was or you had to drink....and if you got an ace and got the color right you have to pick one person, and they have to chug there drink...i got an ace...but guesses wrong....so i chugged my newly open Sminoff...(damnnit) ............ then...we went swimming cause that is what we always do at Danny's...i don't remember if there was naked people in the pool...but...i remember Ian telling some guy to stop watching us if you don't like us swimming in the pool. or something in that manner....so...we all went in cause they thought that someone was going to call the police....(like always) so we got the smart ass idea to go somewhere to eat...and Stella had to leave...so....Stella took Alf and Gloria back home while i THINK it was me, nick, ken, ish, and madi. in ze car....we try to go to Taco Cabanna (Taco C , OR TC ) but there was a Sheriff in there, which i learned later that TC accually depends on there drunken customers, and that the only reason why the sheriff lady was there was just to keep shit in order....lol but getting back to the STORY!
we sat outside and i was drinking my beer( I FUCKING HATE BEER!) and i get the idea that i should call people.... soooo i wind up calling Jeff...and my what an interesting convy we had...
[hey how are ya?]
{what do you want}
[just wanted to talk to you and see how are you]
{i'm fine in cali with crissy}
[nick want to talk to you but i am not going to let him cause i don't want you to..]
{ give him the phone }
<Jeff, this is Nick>
<i just want to say sorry and that i just want all of us to be friends ( something like that)>
i get back the phone
[ i just want everything to get better]
{it won't i am going to hang up now}
..........hung up.

while that whole convy. was going on Madi. was telling Ish why they broke up...and it was because she didn't see him enough....(remember this).....we are heading back...and we go to McD cause we were fucking hungry and we went to Jerk in the crack to get some more food.. we also stopped by the Drag which was funny cause i played Guilty Gear drunk and i almost beat the game, and on of the workers there found out that i knew his name which was pretty funny. so the car ride was full of i can't believe i called Jeff...and Nick comforting me, and telling me that the next time he see's him that he is going to kick his ass....i told him no, and just told him to forget about it, and i thanked him for his friendship and for everything else that he has done for me....then Madi. was looking at both of us.,..she was drunk as hell and she was like " i like you nick" "i like you Sean" and i was really drunk and i was like " i like you to" and i kissed her....wierd.......but that;s what alcohol does to your brain cells....
we get back to Danny's and they were concerned that nick had alcohol poisoning and they were like "nick you need to throw up" and they were like punching him in the stomach trying to make him throw up...everyone was trying to decide how were they going to go home....soo i decided to stay there cause Mary and Zach were there and i wanted to be there for nick....so Ken Ish Madi And Cas leave and it was just me Danny Ian Mary and Zach. i remember Ken saying something about him hating something that i do...but that will come later.....we go back inside and Ian is STILL DRINKING... we all try to find where people are going to sleep...and Danny is like i am going to brush my teeth....Ian and I, go in there and Ian was messing with Danny and somehow they wind up playfighting, then altogether falling down with Ian hitting the "porcelin wall" and Danny being confused punching Ian in the head.....Then it started, Ian yelling outta his brains off " I am going to fucking fuck you up Danny" blah blah blah blah all of this bullshit and Danny was just standing there in the most calmest posture..."i'm sorry" "you frighten me...." it was rediculous.
they made up and were all mushy mushy i love you crap and then the penis puppet show Began.
yes the penis puppets cause they started to mold there penis's into wierd and yet interesting "forms" and gave them interesting names...example, the brain, the Ice Cream cone, to the centipide, to the greatest penis puppet of all time "the birth of a saviour" which consisted of Ian's penis popping out, while making baby noises.........XD
the next day..i somehow winded up on Ian's bed...it was like 10 in the morning i think and it was interesting cause there was BBQ sauce on the blinds....and BBQ covered q-tips, which made everyone believe that it was Ish's ear wax..........
so we go back to Mary's house Nick and Mary wash up and pretty cause we were going to meet them at Trudy's....Cassie calls me and tells me that she wants to talk to me about last night....
we all go to Trudy's and order and Ken and the rest of last nights crew came there. ( not stella, gloria or alf) we all eat..and we figure out what we are going to do...we decided to go to Zilker cause i told Madi, that i would take her there and everyone was like alright, plus something about Canoing so it was going to be gravy...Cassie trys to talk to me...but i told her that we will talk at Zilker. we go back to Mary's cause i think of she needed to get something.. idk i don't remember but i remember watching a crazy black man beat up a random person's car which was scary and watching the tip drill vid., and i have to say..that is VERY DeGRATING TO black people (women)...
we were there for a while and Kenny called me on the phone cause he was outside with Madi. and he is Allergic to cats so...he called me and was like what is the hold up..and i was like well they are doing something idk what, but you should just come in and chill...and he just snaps at me and i was like you know what fuck you dude, and hung up. a few mins. later we get our shit ready and we finally leave. i ride with Mary, Nick, Annabell, and Zach. Ken was trying to ask dir. to Zilker and i just brushed him off.....
we get to Zilker and just walk in the water waiting for Zach cause he thought that there was a shortcut. but there wasn't. So we finally meet up with Zach and Nick was like lets see how much it cost to rent a boat/canoe and we just see how much it was...and i was 10/hr. and you could fit 3 people into one canoe. there was about 9 of us....so we walked up to the play ground and was like what should we do now??? Madi. looking very uncomfortable i go to her and talk to her....and kenny. and cassie was like well let's go get some water and we dragged Madi along....
Me and Cassie and Madi. walked to the Snow cone thing and bought stuff...Madi was telling me that Kenny's presence near her was frustarating her cause she doesn't like it when Kenny was all on her....Then Cassie tells me about what happend last night.
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Last night Ish forced Madi. to sleep in the living room cause Ish and Madi. knew that "something" would have happened. So Cassie was stuck in the bed with Ken. thoughtout the night. Ken was trying hard to "get" cassie. it didn't work. the next morning...i think they wake up...and Madi was trying to get some sleep...and kenny picks her up and puts her on the bed then starts to cuddle with her....Ishmael was very frustrated in Ken's behavior and wanted to kick ass (like always) but Cassie talked to him and talked out some of his anger.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Walking back up to everyone else...i tell Madi. no matter what you can stand next to me and i will keep him away from you.....she clung onto me like a baby to a breast. We got the cool idea of going to Deep eddy so i drove ish's car back to Ken's while Nick and crew went back to there house to get clothes as well.
Went to Deep Eddy and the fucking WATER WAS COOOOOOOLD....we stayed there for about and hr. or so and left...Madi. still chillin next to me. we went back to Ken's house and just chilled there and relaxed till Nick called us and thought that we should have a BBQ. So we go along with that idea, and decide to have it at Ken's Apt. Nick called Bo to come and Stella TXT me again and was like what up son? and i was like BBQ at ken's. So she comes over as well....she brings alittle bit of something like a Corona, Shiner and a root beer...lol sooo they Bo came and was like let's start the fire...so he puts all of the coal and uses all of the Lighter fluid....fires it............ AND BOOOOOOOOOOM!
and giagantic fireball of death. the whole eniter grill was on fire which was rediculiously funny cause he went Lighter fluid happy. but the coal's were good by the time they came back....Danny was also with them.
Danny and myself helped with the making of the burgers, then threw them on the grill...they were amazing....
Danny told nick that he was going to a going away party and asked if he could bring some people. and he was like W.e soooo i decided to go....and Stella was like PARTY!! and i dragged Madi, along cause i didn't want her to be stuck by herself with Ken..... so we all cram into Mary's car and get to the Party...
This is probably one of the most....interesting and yet unique partys i have ever been to....talk about early 80's i thought i went through a time machine.cause it was rediculous on how these people were dressed....tight pants, blonde "poofie" hair. Madi and Stella called it the "Scene kids" party. i thought that this was like a "emo kid" party...but there wasn't any music saying "stabby rip stab stab"...so "scene kid" party it was.
Ish TXT me and was like guys have fun take care of Madi. for me and i was like alright, i guess he wasn't mad..............................................
Once again...all there was there was beer ( I FUCKING HATEEEEEEEEEEE BEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR) me and Madi. were like fuck this shit....she had like one cup. i had like 3 or 4 cause some random dude kept filling up my cup. but the people there were just awesome and cool... there was this one guy who put Vodka and Gatorade together...(sounds wierd, but was really tasty) then there was another dude who was really cool..he took Japanese for 5 years and was really chill...he had tats. everywhere which was cool one of them being the sign for "fire".
we stayed there for a while Ian showed up which was great cause he told me that he was diggin Stella but there was another chick comming to the party. Kendell, i think was her name. show up and he was "trying" to spit some game....but i think all he got was a simple.....have a good night.. friend...but it's all good....cause he was going to take things slowly...he does things in a different...yet romantic way...Ian is a very interesting person.
We finally leave Nick is Devoured in Sparkles and was calling himself and everyone that hugged him the Sparkle brothers or fairys, something stupid like that...Nick was drunk he had like 8 beers....so he was like "lalalalalalalalalalalalalala"
we finally leave and Ian was drunk and something was telling me that we were going to die...but we didn't. We went back to Ian and Danny's house and took off our clothes and went swimming...( well except for Stella and Madi.) before we left we drank up the rest of the alcohol they had in the fridge. ( 3 1/2 of Mike hard lemonade, 1 Sminoff, and alot of Lonestar.) so we were lalalalala. and nick was like LARLARLARLARLARLALRLARLARLALRLARLALRLARLAr
soooooooooo we go swimming and it was great there werr people staring at us and was like wtf are they going....and we swam in both of the pools and just had a good time....We went back to the house and Ian was like Trancing out and i was like you alright??? and he was like i'm fine there is nothing wrong....
i knew he was lying and i was like TELL ME!
and he was like well he wants to get Stella's number and he was like but we were in the way...X.X
so i felt bad....
we were leaving all of us were like Whoa....and at the end of the night Stella winded up getting Ian's number.
Nick thought that Ian was pissed, cause Ian was telling Nick that he was stupid and stuff like that. but Nick was drunk as hell....
we go back to the house....and right when we get in there drama starts.....
We get in and I see Ish run out the house..i thought he forgot something in his car so i was like w.e. and i go inside and Madi. tells me that he was thinking about leaving right now....and i was like WTF so i chase after him and he was just frustraded at everyone cause he was stuck "babysitting" everyone. and , the main reason, he couldn't believe that he couldn't leave the house cause he knew that if he would have left Cassie would have been messed with by Ken. So Ish is like i want to go to the Drag, and Me and Nick are like WTF....A drunk Nick and a some what Sober Sean once again....being the mediators trying to mediate a another but well needed , stupid situation.So Nick goes and talks to Ken and i talk to Ish and tell him....you know what if you leave and don't confront the situation, then it won't get any better...or something like that..and he was like alright...so we all get together. Me Ish Ken Cassie and Nick and pretty much just let Ish talk to Ken infront of us....and i have to say that was the worst 15 mins. of my life. cause he wasn't staying on topic and that was Kenny's disrespectful attitude towards everyone. He winded up talking about Madi and other stuff that i forgot..cause it was bullshit. but some stuff that he said triggered a nerve with Madi. cause she snuck out the house and was listening to Ish.
After Ish was done....we winded up seeing Madi. and we were like what is wrong and she ran away and me and Cassie were like WTF and we went and talked to her and she was trying to hold back the tears but....
she was mad cause after Ish and Madi broke up Ish started his Cig. and Drinking habit and that kinda hurt her feelings, alost of stuff have been going on, plus she was slightly drunk...sooooooooooooo emotions where just like out the roof. We take her back into the house and just lock the door while Ken, Ish and Nick were outside talking about whatever they were talking about.....so. We were in the house and just trying to comfort her. Then Nick gets knocks on the door with Ken and they are like we are going inside the pool and Nick strips down and steal my Corna in the fridge and they finally leave. Madi chilled out and i was like i need a drink....so i look in the Fridge and there was nothing except a arbhor mist. Me and Madi. chugged that and decided to go to with Nick and Ken to the pool. We see them and these girls and they were like hop in. So i strip down and hop in..after a couple of mins just chillin they invited us to a party and we were like alright then we left...half way through the pool experience Ken and Madi. both headed back to the house and were like RAR. we are sleepy and left. So me and Nick run back to the house and i take a shower and Nick was like LETS GO WALK....and that i what we did....we walked and pretty much just summarized what happened..Me and Nick have really been becoming better friends and everything, I am really glad that i have gotten to know him other than placing judgement on him....

There was sooooooooo much drama going on and i seriously cannot write all of it down.....all i know as long as all of us continue to stick together, we will all become better friends....

well Shaquanda there is sooooooooo much more that happend but i just don't feel like writing all of this bullshit......
i'll ttyl Shaquanda....

Sean

11:54 a.m

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 20:30:54 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

my what an interesting night.....
Cassie's mom isn't home for about a week or so (she comes back on mon. ) and she calls ken and is like i am coming over....so she comes and everything is GRAVY... we just chill here for a while and For some reason Cassie and Kenny wanted to rape me, cause they were trying to "love" me....so Cassie is like on top of me, (CLOTHES ON) and is like rubbing his " beard" on me....and just Straight up wierd....i was like "i don't feel like Making love"....so they kept on...don't they understand the word no.....................fuckers...

anyways Nick called me and was like....lets do something and they come over and like take us to Peter pan Mini golf....it was me, cassie, ken, Nick, mary, annabel,Ian,and Danny. and i told my friend Julian to meet us there so....Yea. they played putt putt or whatever...let me tell you...it was a fucking show...to hockey putt putt...to just knocking the ball outta the park...it was very interesting....so they finished and do what we always do..
went to the drag....
so we went and i play a game of DDR and everyone was like...let's eat...so we head to Kirby...and guess who i SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
hehehe
Rashid...
so i like go and sit with him and his friend...and just talk about random stuff like partying..and other stupid stuff like we do...and he jetted...rar
he was like we need to chill some time....and i accually am going to a party this weekend....SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Mhuhahahahahahahahahahaha who knows...;-)
anyways
we eat there and me cassie julian ian danny Mary annabel and Nick ordered something...and the bill was like 52 dollars...and that is were it started..
Mary was making the whole situation crazy she was like "RAR we need a to fucking tip blah blah blah" and i was like well i don't have money and julian paid for his meal (not including tip) and everyone else paid for there shit as well....minus the tax and tip...(which was the reason) sooooooo Ian being the cool dude was like well i guess i put in 12 dollars in for the tip and for someones meal....and the whole entire situation was just stupid.....
so he puts in the 12 dollars and everyone was feeling bad cause Mary was running her mouth....
so we are walking back to the car. and everyone is like rar Quiet...and mary is like WEll you guys better finda way home cause we are going back home.....WTF!!!
bitch
so Julian takes us back to Spider house cause we were going to wait for Sarey who meet us at the drag and who also experienced the whole food paying situation...so we are at spider house and just sitting there and just talking about the bill...then to the "shocker", the about high school....and other stuff.......so she calls her "roommate" Elizabeth and she i like well i am not coming home tonight....so....she comes with us back to kennys....
julian drops us off and is like rar call me tomorrow if you wanna do something....and i probally will so...yea....
i wind up playing Suikoden till like 6 in the morning cause i didn't want to sleep....and cassie still wanted to "make love" with me...and i just didn't feel like it...so i just ignored her.....
So yea.,...my interesting night...i just hate conflict...sometimes conflict can just be sooooooooooo inappropriate....WTF..
anyways Shaquanda..Ish and Madi. are suppose to be comming tonight...so tonight might be interesting......we might take her to Zilker or maybe Mt. bonnell... who know..all i know is that Nick and crew don't be assholes and come join us,,,,,
Shaquanda, i need to go...i want to play IIDX already!!
ttyl
Sean

tired

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 23:11:16 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

don't have much to say...just really tired from last night....decided to walk from Eintstiens all the way to a major highway (rt. 360) with Bun bun (Nick) and Kero kero (jon z).....all i have to say is that...i have learned to appreciate the light....and also appreciate whoever made the fucking sprinkler....cause if we did drink any water either Jon Z or me would have died......
.....be thanks full thought cause i used MY boy scout skills to guide us back to safety......(????????????????? what boy scout )..........
anyways....i'll talk to you later.....cassie is telling me about her bus ride.....lol

i love you Shaquanda.

Sean

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 08:35:03 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

So it has been about about 2 days from the leave from VTX....Aka....Hell....but like Ish and Ken have told me...." it is the people that make that whole experience better"
I was going to do a Summary about the whole thing...but i am lazy so INSTEAD! i will just write about the people i met...cause they are awesome! (well...some of them)

Ken's Dad: OMFG...this man can talk...i have never seen a man that CAN TALK AND TALK AND TALK AND TALK. My first night....he woke me up so i can see his speakers....>.<. Though his "disability" may be the reason for that. Oh yea...he is also deaf in one ear so...yea...Loud, Yelling Voice + Constant talking = IRRITATION!!!

Ken's Mom: the most Sweet person in the world...omg she was just like my mom...just....She Kept shoving food in my face....JESUS...this woman loves to cook...one morning i woke up...and there was like Spagetti waiting for me....WTF....plus whatever we wanted she got us. ( i see why he is so spoiled.....lol)

Ken's Sister, Stephy: idk what to say about her....she is just really shy....but i can tell that if she was more comfortable with me...she would just a cool person to talk to, and just be stupid with.......talk about myspace whore...She IS on IT 24/7... her fucking screen is ALWAYS on her profile.....WTF..MYSPACE WHORE! ....She let me draw a penis and other stuff on her wall which was fun....she's cool....

Ken's Friends.

Ashley and Heather: Omg these girls are like CRAZY...they sneak outta there house like at 12 at night and do whatever they want....
Ashely was a cool girl, though whenever people told me about her.i heard interesting things...but i don't let that judge my feelings towards her. I thought she was a very cool and interesting person.
Heather....omg that little girl Is STRAIGHT UP BAD! talk about trash talking,dirty mouthing people...that girl has said it all......she loves to talk about interesting things...though her age is the thing that concerns me....she is like in the 8th grade and has made out with a girl????...imagine when she is in high school.....sadly to say this i see hard times coming soon for her...she needs to tone it down alittle.... but she is fucking awesome to talk to...i love those girls...

Jen AKA Pretty Morrison: OMG I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL...she is sooo nice and so comforting....plus she is half fili.. AWESOME!! I meet her at Liz's house and it was freaking funny cause we were playing with Chalk and i was like i am going to draw you....and i drew this stick-figure of her standing one of her legs up in her hands...and i drew a arrow to it and called it pretty...( that is where the name comes from) really stupid...she gave me her cards and her lucky charms keychain thingy...but i left it at kens >.< She is pretty much the only person i really miss from there....kinda.

Elizabeth (liz): RAR...I didn't really talk to her THAT much BUt she was sooooooooooooo nice to me.... she let me have some of her pizza... she was really nice to me. We went to her house the first night and we just had fun playing with chalk. I think her dad got mad at her cause of the "What up (arrow sign) Nig?" on her street...heheh me sawwy. XD She was is awesome...i totally had a great time conversating with you..even though it was for a short time....

Curtis: Wow what an Amazing dude, he was like black.....but WHITE!...thing is .he's half black and half mexican.....WTF. HAHAHA no he was really cool...he kinda reminded me of my cousin which was interesting.His car broke down when we were there and he was just chill about everything,even though he need like200 dollars(something like that) to fix it, and he need to get to work the next week...he's an amazing dude. He likes Trance kinda like i do,but he was like HARDCORE about it....lol he is def. the second person i miss.

Jason: another amazing person...and i must say the most interesting person Ken has introduced to me....he was mister hardcore "i love you Jesus" to hardcore biker...idk if he is still that way(jesus lover) but all i know is that he is a great dude. He tried to kick my ass at Street Fighter..But i GOT HIS ASS!!!(well a couple of times....>.>) he was cool dude..i wanted to ride his motorcycle but i didn't know how....oh well. he was cool though.

Abram: i think i spelled his name right.lol idk what to say about him.....he was a ....."unique person" i loved his curiosity cause he was like finding stuff in Kenny's room that kenny forgot he had.lol he was cool. he does like that night shift thing at wal-mart so i was only able to see him once.. but it was cool to chill with him. Plus the "Flying Umbrella" will only be in our memories...XD

Madiline (MADI) : hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
What to say....either be an asshole....or............... be an asshole....
naw she was a cool girl. i really liked her. she is another "unique" character that i got to meet. She hates it when people call her "Madi" but she let me cause i can't say/spell/ or pronouce her name corecctly.plus it just sounds retarded....lol I thought she was an asshole, and at times she can be...but for the most part she was a cool person.

There were more people like. Eric, and Ciara.and other people, but i am tired and idk want to write about that shit....
Ish, Rob, and Johnny can suck my cock cause you guys would seriously have pages and pages about you guys SO STFU!!!

Shaquanda these are the people that stick out in my mind...they should feel special that i accually wasted a LJ post on them.
Assholes.....

well baby i'll ttyl k

Sean

3rd and 4th day,..,....

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 10:04:47 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

My my my. this whole Victoria trip has just been a gigantic learning trip.

Yesterday was interesting woke up and heard from Ish that he didn't want to go to work and that he was comming over...SWEET!
While me and Kenny were waiting Ashely and Heather come in and just chill with us...which was fun....Heather had a Dentist appointment and was down the street so that is why they chilled there...
Dentist time and they left. Ashley came back and we just had a good time being really stupid and did nothing....Ish came and came and just chilled with us and he was like "oh Sean Grind on me." and was like
"i'm hungry" so he was like "come on you nigger lets go eat some chicken" (something like that) and we left, leaving Kenny and Ashley to themselfs....he...he....he...he....he.....he....
So me and Ish go to KFC and eat some chicken and it was alright....it was good to have some alone time with Ish, so that i can get to know that dude alot better....so after the chicken session.....we go to some smoothies place called "gone banana's"....and that is where i met Ish's friend Ciara...she was a cool chick with blue hair and she had an ATTITUDE like you wouldn't believe...but then again...it is the that time of the month were girls are like.... BAH FUCK YOU FUCKERS...(right Shaquanda)....so idk....she was cool in my book...bought a smoothie and jetted back to Kennys to find little ol Heather and her Swollen mouth....lol
they left like 10 mins after that.....
me and Ish were flat out tired and just crashed on his bed.....
dream was Freaky!!
i dreamt of my mom's ex boyfriend and he was like taking me somewhere, then my whole dream just showed me small images of his life...or what i thought of his life....and somehow ended with the last image being a paiting someone gave him for a present...in his hospital bed.....with him waking up....
then that is when i Heard Pretty Morrison's voice, then i woke up...next to Ish and standing at the door was...
Pretty Morrison and Liz....they were like....did we wake you up....and i was like no when i was thinking "duh bitches" lol jk i love you girls
so they stopped by and they cuddled with us it was fun....Ish woke up later to see boobies in his face....it was yummy....
so we chilled there played some IIDX and just had fun...Kenny's mom came in and was like..you guys want something to eat? and we were like Pizza.and we got pizza....decided to play Twister...but never happened.....came back More IIDX was fun then Pretty Morrison and Liz left....it was Sad cause Pretty Morrison was like i am going to San Marco's and won;t be back till like friday.....i was sad....
but oh well i'll talk to her on Myspace, cause i am such a whore.....
now left with me ken and Ish we decide to go to one of his friends house and that was interesting cause on the way there my mom calls...and just gives me the WORST GUILT TRIP EVER.....to where it had me in tears....but then again as i look back at it...idk if my decisons are the "right" decisions.....should it be family first or yourself first......
what a choice.....
so after arriving at the place i was in Ish's car and locked everything up and went inside, put back on the happy face and just continued the night....which turned out great, cause we found out a new game which reminded me much of Samurai Showdown...i forgot the name of it..but it was fucking Sweet.....
played some other games and just had a good night....after that,.....seached for a place to eat....but couldn't find one and just stopped by a corner store and bought chips and drinks...found a new Energy drink...kronic....it said may suppress you appetiete....i handed it to ken..and he rejected it saying..."i don't want that....i love my appetiete"
got home and made chicken tenders and just chilled..played more games and just chilled.....(how long can i keep this up?? I can't chill forever) finally went to sleep us three in the bed...hot...
Woke up Thurs.. To ken's dad spying on us....realizing that Ish was awake...he said he was up ever since 10....it was 12......woke up...he wanted to check myspace 5 mins before he had to leave to work.....( his ASS GOT CHEWWED ON!!! lol )
Ish left and i was me and Ken...
played some interesting games..and one new game to add to my new fav. RPG's suikoden 2...
it is such a funny game to where you can do what ever you want, as long as you can pay for your mistakes!!!
WHAT A FANTASTIC GAME!!!!
lol
As we were playing...look at Kenny's compy to see a message from....Madi. (Madiline)...
Kenny talks to her....and pretty much wants to meet with her...
so after a well needed shower...we left to Madi's house...and my she is a unqine person...with her loud burping, to her funny but yet random jokes...it still baffles me to see Ish and Kenny fallinig in love with this girl...
I AM NOT SAYING THAT MADI. IS A BAD PERSON...DON'T GET MY WORDS MIXED UP....
just i don't see Kenny OR Ish going out with and Interesting girl like Madiline....she is a unique character....
so.....
pick her up...we went to the mall....do about a lap or so and decided to go to the tilt.... i got free jelly beans from the lady at the PCP place thingy cause she was like w.e take them....so i did...
it was fun....
meet some people it was great....
kenny was playing DDR and that is were i got to talk to madi. and it was a funny conversation about how we can get and electric pen and put it on the bar on the DDR pad so when kenny touches it...he will get shocked....and other stuff...that i don't feel like writing cause i really want sleep.....
we go to Walmart to see if Kenny's friend, Abraham, was working. and we found him...it was cool...gained some experience there.....then went to Target to find Rob(posey) and we found him...i also gained a lvl. to lvl. 24 and one more lvl i will learn Bribe....heheheheh"
so we wait for Posey cause he got off at 10 and it was like 9 p.m so we like walked around target and jammed to the music there...and that is were we got it "C"runk.....too Rob back to his house and i was just exciting...
at robs house there was fucking CHICkEN there...i fucking ATe like one or two pieces...and his wierd soda's he always buys something like Jones something...rar...idk
then i get a phone call...
idk the number...
"Hello"
"Hello?"
"who is this?"
"This is your boy."
"Julian?"
"*laughter* no....this is Rashid...your baby.."
*running out the house* " Baby......"
CAUGHT ME OFFFFFFFFFFFF GUARD i was like holy shit! WTF....
he was like yea i was about to go to sleep and just wanted to talk to you and see what you were up to....and idk...he totally caught me off guard....i was happy..but then again..idk if i should be........
talked to him about when are we going to meet....told him i would take him to momoko's and just chill there and talk and catch up....(idk if i am ready for this...)
but i was def. good to hear from him again....it has been such a LONG TIMe....(cassie right now is *giggling*)
so yea as i was talking to him SArey Texted me, and i texted her back...and she was like wanna talk? and i called her....i meet her at Zach's party and she was like the GREATEST LISTENER EVER!! she was the most coolest girl there....
but yea just talked to her...heard she got a job at Pita pit...which is AWESOME! i was going to see her, when we get back....(whenever that is) and just show her Sean, when he is not fucked up.....
so aftrer that we were heading back to Madi's. (she hates that name...madi) and was like well i guess i can meet you all there....i sensed discomfort when she said that....and i was like well you don't have to if you don't want to ...and she was like...well i am taking my car so i can leace whenever i want.....
i was like...o.k....so...
we meet her at ken's...we chill at his house for a while and just talked about fun stuff...put kenny's hair in a ponytail...(which he kept on for a while) and the she decided to leave....it was fun....lol
then Curtis and Jason came over and it was fucking awesome... Curtis is a really fun person to talk to ...and Jason is just great....Ashley and Heather wanted to chill with us...soo we all pack into kenny's mom's van and drive all the way out of nowhere to get them...and drove all the way back.....it was fun cause we got back to the house and the first thing i did was went straight to Kenny's sister's room(stephy's, the name) and just scare the shit outta her...Bargging into her room which was AWESOME! she was scared and her friend.....
but yea we all chilled played old school MK3 which was off the chyain nig. and then started the Street Fighter 2 and hyper mode shit..
it was fun....Curtis and Jason left and Ashley and Heather are still around....idk what the hell is going on....but i will inform. you tomorrow cause you have yourself a sleep sean...and that is bad......
so Shaquanda thanks for listen to me baby...

you know i love you...

Sean "fligger" Allen

Victoria-day 2

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 07:23:53 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

My my my....second day in Victoria and i must say what an interesting day it was....about 3:30 a.m that morning I was stuck talking to kennys dad...and i must say That man can TALK!!

Anyways...woke up at like 1p.m wait for kenny to wake up. Pop's still is talking.....

Ken woke up around 1:30 and took a shower ate spagetti and when to the Victoria Mall....Looked at the "tilt"... (nothing Compared to Eint. in Austin) and realized that this place has ALOT of shooting games...made me sad.....but we found Ashely and her sister Heather and they helped us look for shoes for Kenny...

After shoe shopping, Ish wanted to hang...so we drove all the way arcoss Victoria to see him....i talk to him about madi. and some other things on his mind..and then he had to go back to work....

drove back to the mall to find more friends....(sorry in advance, cause i can't remember everyone) it was:
me, ken, Ashley,Heather, Pretty Morrison,Liz, Curtis,and Eric?
yea they were there.. and watched ken get ANOTHER god damn "One more Extra Stage" (i hate you) and then we all played which was cool...Talking to all of kennys friends was interesting cause in each of his friends, i can see in Kenny....very interesting...but true....

decided to go to kennys and just have fun....Everyone came over except Curtis...which made me sad causee i wanted to talk to him more...cause he is a cool dude....
Played alittle IIDX which was fun...then had a spooning party..and Pretty morisson just raped my ass....which was hot then everyone left....
then it was cold...
Ish was around and yea...idk
i am tired Shaquanda plus i am trying to destroy Kennys sister in "who is more irritating" war

I AM ALWAYS VICTORIOUS....

ttyl baby

Sean

oh jeff....

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 21:03:09 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

this is apart of Jeff's blog to me...

I lost a good friend, a dear brother.
I feel no hatred to anyone.
only betrayal from one.
In my mind I realize that you were always like this
still, In my heart, you're my Big brother.
But now, brother, we can no longer create new memories.

I will never be able to speak to you the way i used to.
so long, farewell, goodbye&goodluck, rest in peace my dead brother, all that remains is a shell of what you used to be.

this is from my little brother,(well ex-little brother) and this just hurts alot.....
but like i said...if Jeff wants this to end this way...let it be....i am not going to change his mind or help him make any deicions....

i just that you should know this Shaquanda... i really am shocked....but that is life...we will both figure this out in the end.... let him make desicions for himself...

i'll ttyl Shaquanda..

Sean

Interesting Night...

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 00:58:43 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

          I have had the most interesting day yesterday...

              I wake up in the Afternoon, waiting for Cassie's cousin, Marissa, to come in...and it had to be the LONGEST WAIT...cause we waited for about 6 hrs. then she came....but w.e. As we were waiting for her Cassie was doing her own thing and i was on the compy talking to people on AIM...and made plans with Jon Z, and his cousin Jewls(julian) to the drag....Nick was going there as well and his whole "crew"...soo after Marissa shows up really late...we go back to my house and get some clothes...
              Haven't been home in like 2 weeks so it was nice to see her again...even though the whole time i was there she was giving me the whole guilt trip thing...but my cold heart was saying "look bitch....i'm leaving....sorry" (i'll explain that whole story another time). I was suppose to get some money from my mom from my church cause i graduated but....she probably wasted it on her fucking drug..BINGO.
so she said come back tomorrow...
              We drive off the drag and saw everyone and decided to go to momoko's for some tea...so...we all walk there and to my suprise i see Jeff, Crissy, John and Adrian. Jeff still being mad at me just said a simple hey whats up man, and just pretty much ignored me and everyone that i was hanging around with...then i saw crissy and i said hola and patted her head...i don't think she's mad at me... and John taking sides of his "NEW FRIEND" didn't say anything to me at all....Adrian fell in love with me and just followed me around the store like alittle puppy wondering what the hell is all of this awkwardness... and i told him i'll tell him later...but sadly enough if i do...Jeff will think that i am trying to get to them....and then he won't be able to trust anyone...so i guess he is going to have to find out for himself.
                 After they left...like 5 mins while we were there....Luci decides that her and jon z were going to cook some yummy yummy food...so being the curious like always, asked if me and kenny can go...and she says yes.
                 we drop off nick at his house since his sister and friends wanted mexican food and nick wanted to go home.....so we dropped him home and while jammin to FANTASTIC IIDX MUSIC! stop by Jon Z's house and stole "big fuck" (big IIDX control) and headed for Luci's...
we made TOTEMO OISHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Chicken "klaves?" and it was magnificent. after getting to know Luci, it was interesting to see why jon Z and her should be together...(minus there CONSTANT ARGUMENTS....)
but that isn't none of my business....
                 after food time,i get online and talk to Rashid and Lauren alittle...

Convy with Lauren: Very interesting, figured something about the whole Ish and her and Dan thing... but pretty much wanted to know the truth about somethings....and clarified somethings...

Convy with Rashid: Short and Abrupt. It was like "Hey" ....."Hey bro" very boring and lame...and i really lost interest in him..and the convy..so i kinda stopped talking to him...

                 Cassie calls and askes us if we wanted to go with her to Dennys cause she hasn't ate alllllllll day...so...we get Luci and Jon Z to take us to the drag and meet up with cassie and marrisa...
we get there, and we pick up gloria and Alf and we Cram into Marrisa's car and get to Dennys...
We Get to Dennys and we meet our waiter "tard" and he was one of the most...wierdest but yet coolest waiter ever!!!
we cause soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much trouble...it was FANTASTIC!!!
lol
We were loud, Abnoxious..and that is the way we do things sooooooo...last night was great...
We were ALSO the first people to tell Cassie Happy Birthday...cause Today JUNE 16 Is her b-day. and it was lots of fun.
            after getting lots of food down my "blackhole" of a stomach....we decided to go to Mt. Bonnell since Kenny didn't know where it was...so we parked "CAREFULLY" at the mt. and we walked our fat asses up the fucking stairs...I remember Crissy telling me about the stairs...and i counted 102....but idk..anyways...everyone was like this place is amazing and it was....there was people there..but it was FANTASTIC casue I stood onto of the wooden structure and i swear i thought that i was going to fall off....but sadly enough i didn't...(sorry Shaquanda) so....we stayed up there and just chilled and talked....
            i decided, one point in there conversation when they were talking about sex or something...i got back on the wooden structure and just layed on there....and just looked up to the sky and i swear....
i never thought sooooooo hard in my life.I thought about my mom and about what was to happen if i was to leave....i thought about Me and Jeff, and thought if i should like him, let it go to shit....or fix it.......i thought about Rashid and thought maybe i wasted my whole year on something that might have not been true...I thought about sooooooo much...i kinda wanted to know the awnsers to them...but...only time can tell that Shaquanda..it was a interesting night.
It was time to go...we stayed there till 4 or so and decided to drop everyone off.
got back to Kenny's And just Crashed!!

there was sooooooooo much more...i just don't want to tell you Shaquanda cause you would get really really jealous...
anyways i'll ttyl
Shaquanda your my best friend......

I feel like tacos.....

Sean

To Much shit dude....WTF

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 01:45:50 GMT

Dean Shaquanda,
Hmmm so far today is interesting...
       woke up around 11:30 a.m cause Kenny called me and wanted to know what I was doing. (since i am still at Cassies)
       Cassie left me around noon and i pretty much have the whole house to myself....(seriously)
so all i have done so far was sniffed her panties.....XD...jk
naw.... i have more control than that...(.....stuff them into my backpack....... jk{i need to quit} )
anyways...
        i kinda talked to Dan today, and he is having a blast in Paris....I really find that inspiring to know that he is accually doing something that he wants to.....I have lots of respect for that kid...just hope that he takes care of himself and comes back with a shit load of stories....
        Well Rashid is finally back in Austin...but for some reason i am not feeling the same...it is soo silly cause the whole time he was gone i felt so sad...knowing that he is gone...but now that he is back...i don't feel the same....idk it is such a wierd thing...i was thinking that when he came back everything would be the same....but apperantly i thought wrong. I guess I have gotten over it...maybe it is because i haven't seen him face to face...or maybe cause i have seen what is out there in the world...idk a year wait...you can see sooo much...but I can't wait to tell him everything that has been going on....
       I really want to get a fucking job so i can fucking have money and do things...cause Sean w/o money = a VERY MAD SEAN.....therefore Sean talks in Hypothetical form, then pisses people off cause sometimes they don't understand......so...
Watashi JOBU GA HOSHII!!!
DAMNNIT!!
anyways...Laruen is a interesting person to talk to....i hope that bitch looks at this...or else....MHUHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NIGGA
anyways Shaquanda...
i'll ttyl
Sean

good morning emo day...

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 14:52:26 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

    How are you today?? I just barely woke up and i must say: you were great last night...
Today, my really good friend Rashid is comming in, and i am Very FUCking Excited cause he is like my second lover...(Shaquanda you know you are my frist) I just can't wait for him to come and just talk about college and his whole college experience and just everything that has been going on.. I LOVE YOU!!!
    Last night before the hot sex with you Shaquanda, I decided to call Jeff cause of our little problem about me lossing his trust cause I told Nick(Crissy's ex) about Him and Crissy(GF) and Jeff doesn't like that cause he tells me alot of personal things about them, that Nick doesn't need to know...I called him and he pretty much just was willing to let our friendship go to shit....Idk where we are at right now...all i know is that I have to help that relationship, and even though that isn't my business, it's the fact that Jeff is not happy cause Crissy gets into these moods cause of Nick.I Just want to help cause that is what a friend does...Idk i just really confused and really hurt. Maybe it isn't my place...idk to far into it now.....what am i to do....
    This is such a wierd dream:
I dreamt that i was in a dog show and it was this dog that keep comming to our house when my old dog left. Thing about it was, the dog's name was "Bandit", the name of my old dog.
So we are in the talent show thing...then outta no where we are doing this kinda of competion game thing... where you, throw a coin in the air and how many times it flipped, is how many steps your dog can move when you throw another dog toy that they are suppose to fetch. So i flipped the coin, don't remember how many times it spinned and i like CHUNK THE DAMN TOY and like my dog walked there to get it...which was bad cause he loses more steps and i guess you lose points if you go past....So i guess i lost...Cause fucking Cassie was like "Wake up,LOve...."
WTF!!!
Idk though....I need to quit playing Video Games......
I have very wierd and very complicated dreams.....
Maybe that is why i never have a clear mind, cause i am thinking of the stuff that really doesn't really need to be thought about..........

rar I am already having an Emo day...

Anyway Shaquanda,i ttyl alright...
gotta go look for a fucking Job so i can start buying your fat ass some food....
ttyl
Sean

My first entry

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 07:38:42 GMT

Dear Shaquanda,

hello Shaquanda... you are my new Journal so listen to what i have to say:
So, yea Sean's first entry on this Live Journal thing and all i have to say WTF...
i was forced onto this site by my friend and all i have to say is:
why?
I kinda don't want to be stuck on this site like MYSPACE...and be like.....I NEED MY HIT MAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN....so...but...i'm not addicted to Too many internet sites...so...one more can't hurt?? right?
Right.
So, today was interesting cause i woke up at 4:30p.m. Last night i didn't go to sleep until 5 a.m trying to write a stupid blog on Myspace...but i clicked on one icon on my toolbar and erased my blog...so i was very sad....it going to describe Zach's party (which was Fantastic) but it has been shot to hell so...no long bloggy on Myspace.
Right now i am at Cassie's cause i needed a get away from some problems and i know that Cassie is a person i know i can always go to when a time of troubles or problems occur...so... i wuv you...

I will finish this bullshit later,cause sooooooooooooooo much is happening idk how to fix it...so i guess I will finish you LATER!!!

WOOHOOOOOO For not finishing my first entry...........
i love you Shaquanda..

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 02:14:15 GMT

Party was OFF THE MOTHA FUCKING CHYAIN NIGGUHS!!
I had Alcohol Poisoning cause of the 17(maybe more) Voldka shots I took....
Lot's of people that i knew were there...
Me,Cassie,Gloria,Alf,Kenny,Ish,Robert,Zach,Nick,Mary...bunches of other people...it was Super Super fun...
I got to talk to Nick and get to know him better....i never really knew who he was...or how he acted...but from what i learned Sat. night...Dude is really cool..I mean, who watches over you when your ass is drunk off your ass??? People that care...We talked about soooo much it was really cool...
He's cool in my book.
i am really tired...people were crashed all over Zach's house and IDK..
for Zach's 1st party...I Give it two "Drunken fingers" up!! (:-D